How to Ask for and Accept Help During Cancer

Accepting Offers of Help When Living With Cancer

We’ve all been there - someone says, “Let me know if you need anything,” but because nothing specific is agreed, nothing ever comes of it. Or perhaps a thoughtful gift like flowers can end up feeling like another task to manage - finding a vase, trimming the stems - when you’re not feeling well.

When you’re living with cancer, accepting help can feel like new territory. You might not want to trouble anyone, or you might worry about being a burden. For some, it’s also about a shift in role - perhaps you’re usually the one who’s there for others. That makes it unfamiliar, and asking for help doesn’t always come naturally. And with so much else going on, it can be hard to know where to begin.

The truth is, most people genuinely want to help - they just don’t always know how. Being open and honest about what would really make a difference can guide them towards support that’s actually useful.

Be Specific About What You Need

It’s not always easy to ask for help, especially if you’re used to taking care of things on your own, but it’s one of the simplest ways to feel more supported. When someone says, “Let me know what I can do,” it’s helpful to guide them with something specific. For example:

“Could you pick up a few cartons of fresh soup?”

“Would you mind dropping off some milk and bananas?”

Being clear makes it easier for others to offer support in ways that truly help. Small, practical requests like these are often easy to fulfil - and can make a big difference day to day.

Practical Ways to Accept Help During Cancer

Here are a few simple ideas for how others might be able to support you. These are based on what many of my clients have found helpful:

• Picking up groceries, collecting prescriptions, or posting mail

• Collecting the kids from school, taking them to activities, or babysitting for a few hours

• Putting out the bins, mowing the lawn, or watering the plants

• If someone enjoys cooking, they could make an extra casserole, stew, or lasagna for you to have on hand, or even a batch of egg muffins or a few pots of overnight oats. A ready-to-eat meal can be a big help

• Changing the bed sheets, doing a washing load, or ironing a few items

• Lifts to a clinic appointment or treatment sessions

• Dog walking or pet sitting.

If You're the One Offering Help

If you’re reading this with someone else in mind, it shows how much you want your support to be truly helpful. The most helpful support often begins with a simple question: “What would be most useful for you right now?”

Sometimes it’s less about big gestures and more about the steady, everyday things (like the simple ideas in the list above) that can take the pressure off. Cooking an extra casserole, helping with the ironing, or changing the bed sheets can make daily life feel a little easier.

Some people might also appreciate gestures like gifting a cleaning service for a few months. But not everyone feels comfortable with people coming into their home, especially when they’re not feeling well, so it’s always best to check first if that’s the kind of help they’d like.

Lots of people ask me what cookbook they can gift a friend who’s recently been diagnosed with cancer. My first question is: does your friend enjoy cooking?

Recipe box delivery services can be a brilliant help. The key is whether it fits with how that person likes to eat and cook.. These boxes typically include step-by-step recipes and all the fresh, pre-portioned ingredients you need, with options for meat, fish, or veggie dishes.

Some of my favourite providers include:

• Hello Fresh

• Riverford

• Gousto

• Mindful Chef

Having a few ready meals in the freezer is another great option. Would this be helpful? If so, here are a few of my favourite providers:

• Après Food

• By Ruby

• Cook

• Frive

Where Else to Find Support

Support doesn’t always have to come from close friends or family. There are also services and organisations that can step in when friends and family aren’t nearby or when you need different kinds of help.

In my NHS role, I often work with social prescribing teams who do fantastic work supporting people in the community. Social prescribing focuses on what matters to you, not just medical needs, and connects you to services that support your practical, emotional, and social wellbeing. It’s free and can help with:

• Reducing isolation and loneliness

• Making lifestyle changes, like weight management, quitting smoking, or getting more active

• Support around housing, benefits, or finances

• Managing long-term health conditions

You can access social prescribing through your GP surgery. Many services accept self-referrals. If a referral is required, often the receptionist or practice nurse can refer you without needing an appointment with your GP.

This short video explains social prescribing in more detail.

You can also explore Cancer Care Map, an easy-to-use online directory that shows local cancer support services near you - whether you’re looking for practical help (like managing daily tasks or pet care while you're in hospital), emotional support, or health and wellbeing services.

Why Accepting Help Matters

Accepting help can feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable, especially if taking care of things yourself is what you're used to. It is not a sign of weakness. In fact, many people tell me it’s one of the most important things they did to feel more supported and less alone. Accepting help isn’t about giving up independence - it’s about letting others walk alongside you.

Whether you're asking for something simple or exploring support in your community, every small step can ease the load - and create space to focus on what matters most to you.

If you're not sure where to start with food or nutrition support during or after treatment, I’d be happy to help you find a way forward that feels manageable and personal to you.

📩 info@thecancerdietitian.com

☎️ 020 8064 2865

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The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered personalised nutrition, dietetic, or medical advice. Please consult your healthcare team for personalised advice and guidance regarding your specific medical condition or dietary needs.