Rebuilding Trust with Food After a Cancer Diagnosis

By Meredy Birdi, Cancer Dietitian and Nutritional Therapist

This blog comes from three consultations in a row where food fear sat right at the surface - something I see regularly in my clinic, workshops, and support groups.

People say things like:

“I’m worried about eating the wrong thing”

“Food feels like it might help or harm”

“I thought I knew what was healthy to eat - now I’m not sure anymore”

“I just want to get it right”

If you recognise yourself in any of those, you’re not alone. When the stakes suddenly feel higher, food can stop feeling neutral and start feeling loaded - as though each choice carries more meaning than it used to.

What I want to offer here is a way of thinking about food that restores proportion, so nutrition can support you, rather than becoming another source of pressure.

Food Fear After a Cancer Diagnosis

After a cancer diagnosis, trust in your body, and in the choices you’ve made to look after it, can feel suddenly called into question.

Many people I meet tell me they’ve eaten well, exercised, never smoked, and drunk only small amounts of alcohol. They’ve lived in ways they believed would support their health. So when cancer appears, it can feel so hard to make sense of. You might find yourself thinking, “I did everything right - so what does anything mean now?”

When something so unexpected happens, uncertainty can land hard. Things you once felt sure about may no longer feel as reliable. For some people, that uncertainty lands heavily on food - because food feels tangible, controllable, and closely tied to the idea of doing the “right” thing.

Making Sense of the Worry

When life feels less predictable, it’s natural to look for ways to steady yourself. Everyday choices can start to carry more weight as you try to regain a sense of footing.

If food starts to feel like it might help or harm, that’s an enormous weight to carry. Decisions that once felt routine can start to feel loaded, and the instinct to “get it right” can take over.

Cutting foods out “just to be safe” can feel protective. It offers a sense of control when so much else feels uncertain.

But this is where things can become complicated. Where does that line sit? How much do you cut back before it starts to affect your ability to nourish yourself and maintain your strength through treatment or recovery?

I often see how this plays out not just internally, but at home too. Loved ones may be worried about weight loss or strength and want to encourage more nourishment, while the person going through cancer is anxious about eating anything that might cause harm. That tension can add another layer of strain at a time when there is already a lot to hold.

Cancer is influenced by many factors - some within our control, and many that aren’t. For a lot of people, there is never a clear reason, and that not knowing can be profoundly hard.

It may help to know this: the ways you’ve cared for your health before still count. The purpose has shifted - where those choices may once have been about reducing risk, they are now about supporting your strength, resilience, and capacity to heal and recover.

Nothing you did before was wasted. Your body has something to draw on. You’re not starting from scratch, even if it feels that way. And there is still a great deal within your reach to support yourself now.

Nourishment, Not Restriction

When food becomes frightening, nourishment is often the missing stabiliser.

Pulling back is an understandable response. Cutting things out can feel like the safest option - a way of protecting yourself when the stakes feel high.

A helpful reframe is this: Holding back too much on food, even with the best intentions, can sometimes work against the very thing you’re trying to support.

When nourishment drops too low, the body becomes less well resourced, with fewer reserves to draw on for repair, immune function, and recovery. Over time, that can affect strength, energy, and the capacity to cope with treatment or healing.

This isn’t about perfection, and it isn’t about eating in a rigid or forced way. It’s about making sure your body has what it needs to function, repair, and stay resilient.

This is very different from times when eating is difficult because of symptoms, side effects, or low appetite. In those moments, the focus shifts to what is possible - finding foods, textures, and approaches that your body can tolerate right now. Nourishment looks different depending on what you’re facing, and it changes over time.

When you’re able, one of the most supportive things you can do is nourish yourself well - not abandoning balance, but supporting your body so it can do what it needs to do.

This is about feeding you: your strength, your resilience, and your capacity to heal.

The Human Side of Food

Your body heals and repairs best when it’s properly nourished, and when your nervous system isn’t constantly on high alert.

When the body feels safe and supported, systems like digestion, immune repair, and healing can function as they’re meant to.

Food is not just nutrients.

It's routine and familiarity.

It carries memory, culture, and connection.

It’s part of life continuing.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

When everything you’ve relied on feels less certain, you may find yourself questioning what to trust, what to choose, or what matters. That’s not a personal failing - it’s a very natural response.

Rebuilding trust isn’t about certainty. It’s about groundedness.

Trust comes back when the body feels resourced, not scrutinised.

Trust often begins by returning to a few steady foundations: nourishment, hydration, movement, rest, and allowing the nervous system to settle out of threat.

From that steadiness, decision-making gradually becomes clearer again.

Trust rebuilds through small, workable steps - taken, noticed, and repeated.

It’s paying attention to what helps you feel steadier, and allowing those cues to guide what comes next. This is how trust slowly returns.

Food Matters - But So Does How You Relate to It

Food matters.

The choices you make day to day can meaningfully support your strength, healing, treatment tolerance, symptoms, and quality of life.

There is a great deal within your reach - and that is empowering.

Through diet and lifestyle, you can help shape the internal conditions your body needs to function well - supporting energy, repair, resilience, and recovery.

Research consistently shows that good nutrition supports important clinical outcomes during treatment and recovery:

That’s the empowering part - not restrictive, but proactive.

Not fearful, but informed.

And this takes time.

It’s built through patterns, not quick fixes.

This might include things like:

• a plant-forward pattern (with or without animal foods)

• enough protein to protect strength

• fats such as omega-3s

• hydration and gut support

• movement, rest, sleep, and stress regulation

• time in nature and human connection

All part of a broader toolbox - working together, not in isolation.

This is never about “just eat whatever you like.”

It’s about eating - and living - in ways that nourish and sustain you, body and mind.

When Eating Well Isn’t Easy

All of this applies when you’re well enough to eat and think about food choices. But there may be days when eating anything at all feels hard.

When your symptoms or side effects make food complicated, that’s part of this too.

If all you can manage is soft food or a familiar comfort food, that’s okay.

If vegetables feel impossible, your taste has changed, or ginger tea and toast are all you can face - that’s okay too.

You are not failing or falling behind.

You are doing the best you can with what’s available to you right now.

The key is returning to nourishment when you can.

Sometimes that means resting first, and letting your system settle before building things back in.

That’s not falling off track. That is the track for that moment.

Those harder days are part of the normal rhythm of getting through treatment. When things settle, you can return to the steady patterns that support healing - starting with nourishment and what feels manageable. If that feels hard, that’s a point to reach for more support.

Compassion towards yourself - the same kind you’d offer someone you care about - matters here. There will be better days and harder ones. Both belong to the reality of looking after yourself through cancer.

Universal Principles, Whatever Your Approach

However you choose to approach food and nutrition, the same underlying principles still apply.

Your body still needs the same core supports:

• enough protein overall to maintain muscle and immune strength

• enough nourishment to fuel repair and recovery

• hydration to support every system

• movement

• rest, sleep and nervous system regulation so digestion, immunity, and healing can function as they should

Different approaches can work in different ways. What matters is that they support the same goal: sustaining your strength, resilience, and a calm, nourished internal environment where your body can work at its best.

The Slice of Cake (and What It Really Represents)

People often ask me about things like a slice of cake, a few squares of chocolate, a biscuit, or a spoonful of ice cream. Not because those foods are a big part of their diet, but because they’ve become symbols of worry.

“If I have this, am I ruining everything?”

“Is this going to harm me?”

“Would it be better if I avoid it completely?”

Here’s the perspective that matters:

The question is not whether you can have it. You absolutely can.

The real question, in terms of reassurance, is the pattern it sits within.

An occasional slice of cake shared with a friend, where your shoulders drop and you laugh, is not a threat.

That moment is your body shifting from threat into safety - a state that supports digestion, immune function, and healing.

If most of your week is built around meals that nourish you and support your energy, strength, and recovery, it’s reassuring to remember that a slice of cake is just a slice of cake - not something working against you.

It doesn’t unravel your progress. It fits comfortably within a steady, supportive pattern.

We are shaping your average week, not proving yourself through perfect days.

A nourishing pattern has space for pleasure, connection, celebration, and normality.

It has space for being human.

You can be deeply committed to your health and still enjoy the occasional treat without guilt.

In nutrition, it’s the pattern over time that shapes health - not one food or one day.

Rebuilding Trust with Food and Your Body

You can’t control everything that happens in the body - no one can - but you can support the conditions that help it function as well as possible.

In doing that, you’re supporting your resilience, your muscle strength, your immune system, and your capacity to heal.

None of the healthy choices you made before were wasted. They have contributed to the strength your body draws on now.

As nourishment becomes steadier and your nervous system feels more supported, trust slowly returns.

Not as perfection, but as steadiness.

Not as certainty, but as groundedness.

You are not starting from scratch.

If You’d Like Support

If this resonates and you’d like support shaping a nourishing plan that feels doable and tailored to where you are right now, you’re very welcome to explore how I work and the support programmes I offer here.

This blog is for general information only and is not a substitute for individual medical or dietetic advice.