Rebuilding Trust with Food After a Cancer Diagnosis

Meredy Birdi, Registered Oncology Dietitian.

Why I’m Writing This

This blog comes from three consultations in a row where food fear was sitting right at the surface - something I see every week in my clinic, workshops, and support groups.

People say things like:

“I’m worried about eating the wrong thing”

“Food feels like it might help or harm”

“I thought I knew what was healthy to eat - now I’m not sure anymore”

“I just want to get it right”

These are real concerns with very real emotion behind them, and it makes complete sense that they feel high-stakes.

My hope in writing this is to help things feel less frightening, to give language to what you might be experiencing, and to offer a way through the fear and back towards trust and nourishment.

Food Fear After a Cancer Diagnosis

After a cancer diagnosis, it’s common for your trust in your body, and in the choices you’ve made to look after it, to feel called into question.

Many people I meet tell me they’ve eaten well, exercised, never smoked, and only drunk small amounts of alcohol - living in ways they believed would support their health.

So when cancer appears, it can feel hard to make sense of. You might find yourself thinking, “I did everything right, so what does anything mean now?”

It’s an understandably difficult place to be, with a lot to take in - sadness, disbelief, anger, and everything in between. All of it makes sense.

There can also be a loss of the sense that life is predictable or within your influence. You were doing the things that supported your health, and then everything changed.

Making Sense of the Worry

When life feels less predictable, it’s natural to start questioning what you can still influence, and how.

You may find yourself reaching for something steady to hold on to when everything feels uncertain. For many people, that becomes looking more closely at their food and lifestyle choices - and trying to find stability in what they eat and how they live.

If every food decision feels like it might help or might harm, that’s an enormous weight to carry. Food becomes complicated. The stakes feel high.

And when there is uncertainty, the instinct to cut things out ‘just to be safe’ can feel protective.

But where does that stop? And what happens to meeting your nutritional needs, maintaining muscle, and supporting your immune system?

Health behaviours reduce risk.

They don’t remove it altogether.

Sadly, they can’t.

Cancer is influenced by many things - some are under our control, and some aren’t.

For many people, there will never be a clear reason.

And not knowing is profoundly hard.

Here’s what’s important to know now:

The same things that supported your health before also support your strength and resilience now.

The purpose has changed.

Before, those choices may have been about prevention. Now, they’re about supporting your strength, your energy, your immune system, and your capacity to heal and recover.

Nothing you did before was wasted.

In many ways, you’re entering this treatment phase with more strength and a more solid foundation than you may realise.

Your body has something to draw on.

You already have this mindset.

And there is so much within your reach to support yourself right now.

Nourishment, Not Restriction

Your muscle mass is part of your immune defence and your resilience through treatment. If fear leads to under-eating or cutting back too hard, even with the best intentions, the body loses muscle. And when muscle drops, immunity and energy drop with it.

When you’re undernourished, your body may not have the full set of nutrients and building blocks it needs to heal, repair and recover. That can leave your system less supported for treatment, healing and day-to-day strength.

A helpful reframe is this:

Holding back too much on food (to feel “safer”) can sometimes work against the very thing you’re trying to support. Not because of one food, but because your body may not be as strong or as resourced as it could be.

This is very different from losing weight because you’re unwell, or food feels difficult, or you can’t manage much. In those situations, we work together to find the foods, drinks and textures you can tolerate. The goal is to support your body in whatever way is possible for you, day by day. Your body is responding as best it can to what you’re going through, and nourishment looks different for everyone depending on what they’re facing.

In the moments when you can, one of the most protective things you can do is nourish yourself well - not abandon balance, but support your body so it can function, repair and stay strong. That is what helps your immune system, your muscles, your recovery, and your energy fire on all cylinders.

And this isn’t about one “right” way of eating.

People use many different dietary approaches.

What matters most isn’t the specific framework - it’s the overall nourishing pattern that supports your strength and day-to-day resilience.

You are not feeding the cancer.

You are feeding you - your strength, your resilience, your capacity to heal.

The Human Side of Food

Your body heals and repairs best when it’s properly nourished - and when your nervous system isn’t constantly in threat mode.

When the body feels safe, supported and grounded, systems like digestion, immune repair and healing work as they’re meant to.

Food is not just nutrients.

Food is routine.

Food carries memories.

Food is culture, connection and familiarity.

Food is part of life continuing.

Rebuilding Trust in Yourself

When everything you’ve relied on feels less certain, you may find yourself questioning what to trust, what to choose, or what matters. That’s not a personal failing - it’s a very natural response.

In my experience of supporting so many people through this, rebuilding trust isn’t about certainty - it’s about groundedness.

Start with the foundations that support your body:

• Steady nourishment.

• Hydration.

• Exercise and movement.

• Rest.

• Easing the nervous system out of threat.

As the body feels more supported, a sense of steadiness and strength slowly returns. From that steadiness, decision-making becomes clearer again.

Courage isn’t confidence.

Courage is showing up even when you’re still unsure.

Courage is taking one manageable step, then checking in with yourself - What do I need right now? What helps me feel a little more anchored? What feels supportive for my body and mind in this moment?

It’s paying attention to what helps you feel steadier and letting those cues gently shape the path forward. This is how trust slowly returns.

Food Matters - But So Does How You Relate to It

Food matters deeply.

The choices you make every day can meaningfully support your strength, your healing, your tolerance of treatment, your symptoms and your quality of life.

There is a huge amount within your reach, and that is empowering.

Through your diet and lifestyle, you can help shape the internal environment in which your body functions - things like calming chronic inflammation, supporting energy, healing, repair, and resilience. Research shows that good nutrition can support important clinical outcomes during treatment and recovery:

That’s the empowering part - not restrictive, but proactive.

Not fearful, but informed.

And this takes time.

• A plant-forward approach (whether or not you include animal foods).

• Enough protein to protect muscle and immune strength.

• Omega-3 fats.

• Gut health support.

• Hydration.

• Sleep.

• Stress regulation.

• Time in nature.

• Movement.

• Human connection.

All part of the broader toolbox that helps your body function at its best - working together like an orchestra, not in isolation.

This is never about “just eat whatever you like.”

It’s about eating, and living, in ways that nourish and sustain you, body and mind.

When Eating Well Isn’t Easy

All of this applies when you’re well enough to eat and think about food choices. But there may be days when eating anything at all feels hard.

When your symptoms or side effects make food complicated, that’s part of this too. If all you can manage is soft food or a favourite comfort food - that’s okay.

If vegetables feel impossible or your taste buds have changed - that’s okay.

If ginger tea and toast are all you can face - that’s okay too.

You are not failing or falling behind.

You are doing your best with what you can manage right now.

These days are usually short-lived. The key is to return to gentle nourishment when you can.

Sometimes recovery looks like resting and letting your system settle before building things back in again.

That’s not falling off track. That is the track for that moment.

You’re still caring for yourself. You’re still protecting your strength.

Those harder days are part of the balance and part of the normal rhythm of getting through treatment. When the storm passes and your system settles, you can return to the patterns that support healing. If it starts feeling hard to return to eating well, that’s the time to reach for more support.

Compassion towards yourself - the same kind you’d offer someone you care about - is important here. There will naturally be better days and not-so-good days. Both belong to the reality of looking after yourself through cancer.

Universal Principles, Whatever Your Approach

Whether you follow a Mediterranean-style pattern, a fully plant-based diet, include gentle fasting windows, a ketogenic framework, or something else entirely - the same underlying principles still apply.

Your body still needs:

• enough protein overall to maintain muscle and immune strength.

• enough nourishment overall to fuel repair and recovery.

• hydration to support every system.

• movement.

• rest, sleep and nervous system regulation to keep digestion, immunity and healing working as they should.

Different approaches can all work in their own ways. Whatever you choose, the goal remains the same: to sustain your strength, your resilience, and a calm, nourished internal environment where your body can function at its best.

The Slice of Cake (and What It Really Represents)

People often ask me about things like a slice of cake, a few squares of chocolate, a biscuit, a spoonful of ice cream. Not because those foods are a big part of their diet, but because they’ve become symbols of worry.

“If I have this, am I ruining everything?”

“Is this going to harm me?”

“Would it be better if I avoid it completely?”

Here’s what I want you to know:

The question is not whether you can have it. You absolutely can.

The real question - in terms of reassurance - is the pattern it sits within.

An occasional slice of cake shared with a friend, where your shoulders drop and you laugh, is not a threat.

That moment is your body shifting from threat into safety.

Safety supports digestion.

Safety supports immune function.

Safety supports healing.

If most of your week is built around meals that nourish you, support your energy, your strength, and your recovery, then it’s reassuring to remember that a slice of cake is just a slice of cake - not something working against you.

A slice of cake does not unravel your progress.

It fits comfortably within a steady, supportive pattern.

We are shaping your average week, not proving yourself through perfect days.

A nourishing pattern has space for pleasure, connection, celebration, normality.

It has space for being human.

You can be deeply committed to your health and still enjoy the occasional treat with zero guilt. Because what protects your health is the overall pattern: the rhythm of nourishment, strength, and care, not the single moment.

In nutrition, it’s the pattern over time that shapes health - not one food, one day, or one moment.

Rebuilding Trust with Food and Your Body

You can’t control everything that happens in the body - no one can - but you can support the conditions that help it function as well as it can.

You are supporting your resilience. You are supporting your muscles. You are supporting your immune system. You are supporting your capacity to heal.

None of the healthy choices you made before were wasted. They’re part of the strength your body draws on now.

When you nourish yourself, when your nervous system feels calmer and supported, when you meet yourself with compassion rather than pressure, trust slowly returns.

Not as perfection, but as steadiness. Not as certainty, but as groundedness.

You are not starting from scratch.

If You’d Like Support

If this resonates and you would like support shaping a nourishing plan that feels safe, doable, and tailored to where you are right now, you are very welcome to explore how I work and the support programmes I offer here.

The content provided in this blog is for informational purposes only and should not be considered personalised nutrition, dietetic, or medical advice. Please consult your healthcare team for personalised advice and guidance regarding your specific medical condition or dietary needs.